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The model is the work of psychological researcher John Gottman, a professor at the University of Washington and founder of The Gottman Institute, and his research partner, Robert W. Levenson. [2] This theory focuses on the negative influence of verbal and nonverbal communication habits on marriages and other relationships.
The dreams-within-conflict exercise helped me understand the hopes for being a good dad that my boyfriend had vested in the ways he wanted to raise our future children. In their lectures, the Gottmans performed the same quirky, vulnerable marital dynamic that I observed in my interview.
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Julie Schwartz Gottman (born April 7, 1951) is an American clinical psychologist, researcher, speaker and author. Together with her husband and collaborator, John Gottman, she is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute – an organization dedicated to strengthening relationships through research-based products and programs.
John Gottman was born on April 26, 1942, in the Dominican Republic to Orthodox Jewish parents. His father was a rabbi in pre-World War II Vienna. Gottman was educated in a Lubavitch Yeshiva Elementary School in Brooklyn. Gottman practices Conservative Judaism, keeps kosher (follows Jewish dietary laws) and observes Shabbat. [5]
Gottman defines criticism as verbally attacking a spouse's personality or character with criticism vs. a complaint (a healthy form of communication). Defensiveness he defines as victimizing the self to ward off perceived verbal attacks, and it is really a way for the defensive partner to blame the other.
Unlike the waking state, the brain cannot recognize its own condition; that it is in the midst of the dream and is not the same as the real world. [1] The brain has a single-minded state of primary consciousness during dreaming, which allows the brain to reach greater perception and awareness of a single scenario out of images and dreams. [1]
A significant number of men and women experience conflict surrounding homosexual expression within a mixed-orientation marriage. [34] Couple therapy may include helping the clients feel more comfortable and accepting of same-sex feelings, and to explore ways of incorporating same-sex and opposite-sex feelings into life patterns. [35]