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Gottman's model uses a metaphor that compares the four negative communication styles that lead to a relationship's breakdown to the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wherein each behavior, or horseman, compounds the problems of the previous one, leading to total breakdown of communication. [1]
John Gottman was born on April 26, 1942, in the Dominican Republic to Orthodox Jewish parents. His father was a rabbi in pre-World War II Vienna. Gottman was educated in a Lubavitch Yeshiva Elementary School in Brooklyn. Gottman practices Conservative Judaism, keeps kosher (follows Jewish dietary laws) and observes Shabbat. [5]
Gottman defines criticism as verbally attacking a spouse's personality or character with criticism vs. a complaint (a healthy form of communication). Defensiveness he defines as victimizing the self to ward off perceived verbal attacks, and it is really a way for the defensive partner to blame the other.
A parenting style is a pattern of behaviors, attitudes, and approaches that a parent uses when interacting with and raising their child. The study of parenting styles is based on the idea that parents differ in their patterns of parenting and that these patterns can have a significant impact on their children's development and well-being.
Julie Schwartz Gottman (born April 7, 1951) is an American clinical psychologist, researcher, speaker and author. Together with her husband and collaborator, John Gottman, she is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute – an organization dedicated to strengthening relationships through research-based products and programs.
The nurturant parent model is a parenting style, built upon an underlying value system, [citation needed] that goes in contrast with the strict father model.Each system reflects a contrasting value system in parenthood, i.e. conservative parenting and liberal parenting.
In interpersonal communication, an I-message or I-statement is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values, etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word I, and is contrasted with a "you-message" or "you-statement", which often begins with the word you and focuses on the person spoken to.
She was known for her research on parenting styles [6] [7] and for her critique of deception in psychological research, especially Stanley Milgram's controversial experiment. [8] [9] [10] Baumrind defined three parenting styles: Authoritarian: the authoritarian parenting style is characterized by high demandingness with low responsiveness. The ...