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If any of these examples give you visceral flashbacks to your own humiliating, painful moments of rejection—first of all, I’m sorry. Second of all, there’s a reason these memories sting.
In the first two months of 2016 alone, Caroline Nosal and Janese Talton-Jackson were both murdered in the US by men whose advances they declined.
MacDonald and Leary theorize that rejection and exclusion cause physical pain because that pain is a warning sign to support human survival. As humans developed into social creatures, social interactions and relationships became necessary for survival, and the physical pain systems already existed within the human body.
Feelings of emotional abandonment can stem from numerous situations. According to Makino et al: Whether one considers a romantic rejection, the dissolution of a friendship, ostracism by a group, estrangement from family members, or merely being ignored or excluded in casual encounters, rejections have myriad emotional, psychological, and interpersonal consequences.
The Huffington Post and YouGov asked 124 women why they choose to be childfree. Their motivations ranged from preferring their current lifestyles (64 percent) to prioritizing their careers (9 percent) — a.k.a. fairly universal things that have motivated men not to have children for centuries.
Women commented that they felt freer to talk about sex while under the influence of alcohol, to flirt with male strangers, or to dance with a male stripper." [58] The research collected surrounding women and their alcohol consumption in these settings provide examples of the reduction of social inhibitions in relation to excess alcohol consumption.
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Emotional detachment of this kind is pervasive, Pachankis says, and many of the men he works with go years without recognizing that the things they’re striving for—having a perfect body, doing more and better work than their colleagues, curating the ideal weeknight Grindr hookup—are reinforcing their own fear of rejection.