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And it doesn’t mean that you’re automatically forgiving them either.
When the reply to a complaint contains the phrase I am sorry you feel..., the reply is seldom an apology. I am sorry you feel... is an expression of self-justification. The subtext message it conveys is what I did is perfectly fine; your reaction is inappropriate. Responses that begin this way usually segue to attempts at amateur psychology ...
The way the apology is given affects the outcome and the process of forgiveness. [4] For example, putting genuine emotion into an apology generally helps resolve disputes more quickly and helps rid negative emotions faster. When responding to a crisis, there are multiple implications and ethical standards organizations and groups might follow. [5]
It isn't a good apology if you shift the focus to the other person’s feelings or response. For example, “I’m sorry that you felt hurt by what I said at the party last night.”
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At its best, an apology is an expression of sincere personal remorse for one's own actions, rather than a form of inflammatory rhetoric or empty emotional coercion. A non-apology apology, on the other hand, is seen as a way of qualifying, or even avoiding, a "real" apology, and may even be used as the opportunity for yet another veiled insult.
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A non-apology apology, sometimes called a backhanded apology, empty apology, nonpology, or fauxpology, [1] [2] is a statement in the form of an apology that does not express remorse for what was done or said, or assigns fault to those ostensibly receiving the apology. [3] It is common in politics and public relations. [3]