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  2. Home - The Onion

    theonion.com

    Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

  3. Politics Archives - The Onion

    theonion.com/politics

    Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

  4. Cartoons Archives - The Onion

    theonion.com/opinion/cartoons

    Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

  5. Biden Supplies Ukraine With Anti-Personnel Landmines; Every Movement In Man’s Burrito-Eating Technique Informed By Past Burrito Tragedies; Trump Boys Get Weird Feeling After Uncle Elon Shows Them Busty Anime Cat Girl

  6. Entertainment Archives - The Onion

    theonion.com/entertainment

    Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

  7. American Voices Archives - The Onion

    theonion.com/opinion/american-voices

    Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

  8. ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This ... - The...

    theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where...

    ISLA VISTA, CA—In the days following a violent rampage in southern California in which a lone attacker killed seven individuals, including himself, and seriously injured over a dozen others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Tuesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible ...

  9. Our Historic Front Page: August 2024 - The Onion

    www.theonion.com/our-historic-front-page-august-2024

    The Onion Is Back In Print. Get The Paper. Become A Member. Join Today. Advertising. The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson. Continued on next page. Explore Tags. Former Print Exclusive Vol 60: Issue 34. Related Coverage.

  10. Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ - The Onion

    theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars

    Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And […]

  11. ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This ... - The...

    www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation...

    UVALDE, TX—In the hours following a violent rampage in Texas in which a lone attacker killed at least 21 individuals and injured several others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Tuesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen ...