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Gottman also writes about the "Four Horseman" that are important to minimize and avoid: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling. [1] Of these four, he warns that contempt is the highest predictor for divorce. He defines contempt as a spouse viewing themselves as better than the other spouse.
Gottman's model uses a metaphor that compares the four negative communication styles that lead to a relationship's breakdown to the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wherein each behavior, or horseman, compounds the problems of the previous one, leading to total breakdown of communication. [1]
John Mordecai Gottman (born April 26, 1942) is an American psychologist and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. His research focuses on divorce prediction and marital stability through relationship analyses.
Gottman's Four Horsemen are four negative communication patterns that can signal the end of a relationship. An expert reveals how to work on them together.
The New York Times profiled his findings. Where John had once felt hopelessly bewildered by love, he began to feel as if he could eavesdrop on a couple sitting across from him in a restaurant and get a pretty good sense of their chances of divorce. “John had these brilliant insights,” Julie told me, “but nothing was being done with them.”
Gottman goes into detail on The Four Horsemen in his book, "The Seven Principles of Making a Marriage Work". As stonewalling persists in a relationship and becomes a continuous cycle, the negative effects of stonewalling outweigh the positive effects, it then becomes the greatest predictor of divorce in a marriage.
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4. Brian Daboll, New York Giants. Co-owner John Mara went out on a bit of a ledge in late October when he said he didn't "anticipate" making any leadership changes this offseason. The subsequent ...