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Reciprocity is not only a strong determining factor of human behavior; it is a powerful method for gaining one's compliance with a request. The rule of reciprocity has the power to trigger feelings of indebtedness even when faced with an uninvited favor [16] irrespective of liking the person who executed the favor. [17]
(See the reference below to Becker, Reciprocity, and the bibliographic essays therein.) Reciprocity pointedly covers arm’s-length dealings between egoistic or mutually disinterested people. Moreover, norms of gratitude do not speak very directly about what feelings and obligations are appropriate toward wrongdoers, or the malicious.
The positive reciprocity norm is a common social expectation in which a person who helps another person can expect positive feedback whether in the form of a gift, a compliment, a loan, a job reference, etc. In social psychology, positive reciprocity refers to responding to a positive action with another positive action (rewarding kind actions).
If you would not want to be in such a position, the other person probably would not either, and so you should not do it. It is the basic and fundamental human trait of empathy, the ability to vicariously experience how another is feeling, that makes this possible, and it is the principle of empathy by which we should live our lives.
When that person fails to reciprocate, you may feel cheated and may seek revenge by not being generous to the person in the future. On the other hand, when someone gives you a large gift for which you did not do anything, you may feel uncomfortable and even resentful because you do not want to owe the person a debt.
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A tendency towards reciprocity implies that people feel obligated to respond if someone helps them. This has been used by charities that give small gifts to potential donors hoping to induce reciprocity. Another method is to announce publicly that someone has given a large donation.
That makes it more difficult for me to believe he’s a real person. The more that I found out how complex he was and the flaws that he had, and realized that there were things that were not really great or responsible, it makes him a more real person for me. I can relate to his flaws. That helps me. That’s very cathartic for me.