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Gottman also writes about the "Four Horseman" that are important to minimize and avoid: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling. [1] Of these four, he warns that contempt is the highest predictor for divorce. He defines contempt as a spouse viewing themselves as better than the other spouse.
Gottman's model uses a metaphor that compares the four negative communication styles that lead to a relationship's breakdown to the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wherein each behavior, or horseman, compounds the problems of the previous one, leading to total breakdown of communication. [1]
John Gottman’s indicators of divorce, also known as the four horsemen, ... Signing up for marriage counseling is one way to address some of these common issues and begin to heal. For help, find ...
Gottman's Four Horsemen are four negative communication patterns that can signal the end of a relationship. An expert reveals how to work on them together.
John Mordecai Gottman (born April 26, 1942) is an American psychologist and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. His research focuses on divorce prediction and marital stability through relationship analyses.
The New York Times profiled his findings. Where John had once felt hopelessly bewildered by love, he began to feel as if he could eavesdrop on a couple sitting across from him in a restaurant and get a pretty good sense of their chances of divorce. “John had these brilliant insights,” Julie told me, “but nothing was being done with them.”
Nearly a decade into her marriage with husband John Molner, Katie Couric revealed that the secret behind their relationship is a promise she made to him in her vows. As the couple prepare to ...
After 30 years of research into marriage, John Gottman has found that healthy couples almost never listen and echo each other's feelings naturally. Whether miserable or radiantly happy, couples said what they thought about an issue, and "they got angry or sad, but their partner's response was never anything like what we were training people to ...