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Julie Schwartz Gottman (born April 7, 1951) is an American clinical psychologist, researcher, speaker and author. Together with her husband and collaborator, John Gottman, she is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute – an organization dedicated to strengthening relationships through research-based products and programs.
The model is the work of psychological researcher John Gottman, a professor at the University of Washington and founder of The Gottman Institute, and his research partner, Robert W. Levenson. [2] This theory focuses on the negative influence of verbal and nonverbal communication habits on marriages and other relationships.
Gottman also writes about the "Four Horseman" that are important to minimize and avoid: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling. [1] Of these four, he warns that contempt is the highest predictor for divorce. He defines contempt as a spouse viewing themselves as better than the other spouse.
John Gottman was born on April 26, 1942, in the Dominican Republic to Orthodox Jewish parents. His father was a rabbi in pre-World War II Vienna. Gottman was educated in a Lubavitch Yeshiva Elementary School in Brooklyn. Gottman practices Conservative Judaism, keeps kosher (follows Jewish dietary laws) and observes Shabbat. [5]
In this model of therapy, partners learn to be nicer to each other through behavioral exchange (contingency contracts), communicate better and improve their conflict-resolution skills. Early support came when John Gottman found that as long as the ratio of positive to negative interactions remains at least five to one, the relationship is sturdy.
It’s not hard to find people who vow that the Gottman Method completely transformed their relationships. Last month, I called one of the thousands of couples-therapy practices that use the Gottman Method, BestMarriages in southern British Columbia, and asked for referrals to couples who were willing to talk.
John Gottman is a researcher on marital relationships whose work is explored in Blink. After analyzing a normal conversation between a husband and wife for an hour, Gottman can predict whether that couple will be married in 15 years with 95% accuracy. If he analyzes them for 15 minutes, his accuracy is around 90%.
Ury is the director of relationship science at Hinge, a dating app. [2] [7] [8] She has written for The Gottman Institute [9] and Men's Health. [10] She provides dating coaching on the podcast This Is Dating. [11] [12] Ury has appeared on All Things Considered [13] and Millennial Love Podcast. [14]