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"Mister Squishy" was originally published as "Mr. Squishy" in McSweeney's #5 (2000), under the pseudonym Elizabeth Klemm. The story takes place in November 1995 and follows a focus group in a marketer's conference room as well as the facilitator of the focus group, Terry Schmidt.
Dates for entries in collections are the dates printed after the piece in the collection; the other dates are publication dates. Earliest dates are listed first; when they're the same the version in a collection is listed first, with the exception of Up, Simba! since the collected version references its magazine appearance and so was written afterward.
The vice-principal, Mr. Hannibal Lucre, is overly sweet to the students, and is known for the damp, squishy noise his sweaty hands make when he rubs them together. Amongst the most feared of the faculty is the janitor, Mr. Bartholomew, nicknamed Basement Bart, because he spends practically all his time in the school basement which spreads for ...
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Written Testimony of American Civil Liberties Union Dennis Parker, Director, Racial Justice Project on behalf of the Washington Legislative Office
Meanwhile, Ms. Ribble uses a Squishy on an already grumpy Mr. Krupp, who believes that George and Harold are responsible. When Mr. Krupp finds them in the lunchroom, Melvin almost immediately tattles on the boys and Mr. Krupp sends them to detention, causing them to make a libelous Captain Underpants comic starring Melvin.
As they say in the movies, "You play a very dangerous game, Mr. Bond." With such a thin margin in the House, Republicans are absolutely tinkering with fire if they get too cute by half. Yes.
the first has somehow, in some way, been my best year yet. So, as I often say to participants in the workshop, “If a school teacher from Nebraska can do it, so can you!”